From Self-Doubt to Self-Trust: Overcoming Unassertive Thinking
Our thinking can make assertiveness difficult and impact self-trust. The beliefs we develop from past experiences often shape how we navigate the world, but we may not update them as we grow. For example, if we were shamed for expressing sadness or showing tearfulness as children, we might still believe "crying is a sign of weakness" as adults, even when it's no longer true. This can disconnect us from our emotions, create self-doubt, and lead to suppressed feelings, stress, depression, or misplaced anger toward ourselves or others. Rebuilding self-trust means recognizing these outdated beliefs and allowing ourselves to embrace emotions without fear or guilt, cultivating a more authentic and fulfilling sense of self.
5 Unassertive Thoughts That Hold You Back from Self-Trust:
Expressing my needs makes me feel like I'm being selfish or inconsiderate of others
I should trust those close to me to make decisions for me; otherwise, it means I don't love them or value their opinion (While considering others’ input can be helpful, excessively relying on them can undermine our self-trust)
If I don't know the answer to something, I fear I’ll appear stupid, so I feel the need to pretend that I know it
If I speak up, set boundaries, or share negative feelings, I fear upsetting others, being judged, or damaging the relationship
If I have to express how I feel and what I need, it means the people close to me don’t truly know me
Rebuilding self-trust takes time and practice, beginning with recognizing and challenging outdated negative core beliefs. By reframing them and noticing your feelings, you'll likely be surprised by the positive reactions you receive when you open up and embrace your authentic self.
5 Assertive Thoughts That Build Self-Trust:
Expressing my needs is important, and it allows me to show up authentically
Asking for advice can be helpful, but relying on others to make decisions for me can reinforce self-doubt and hinder my confidence
Choosing to be vulnerable and asking questions when I don't know something is a sign of strength
Setting boundaries kindly and assertively is an act of self-care and allows others to see the authentic version of me
It is my responsibility to express my feelings and needs; those close to me deserve to know them
Building self-trust empowers you to show up confidently, reduce anxiety and depression, and become more calm and present. When you trust yourself, you make decisions with clarity, embrace vulnerability, and set healthy boundaries, allowing you to live more authentically and peacefully.
